i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
