So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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