i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
