i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
