I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Your cock deserves a montage
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
