Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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