One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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