Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
