Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize