i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
We named our party play list daddy issues
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It's just like the Real World with babies
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
