"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
