Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
