Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize