do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
