that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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