Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She's just so happy...and so naked.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
