I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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