I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
