Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
