By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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