And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
