Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
