If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
