I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
