I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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