Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
