How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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