Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
