Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize