marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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