So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
