hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
