I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
