Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Everyone says I win the strip club
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
