she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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