i permit you to call me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
