TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
