I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
