Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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