dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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