Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
