dude i'm inner monologue high
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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