And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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