got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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