Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
