if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
