If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
