Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
