im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
