there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
