I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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