We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
