You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
