she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
