ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
