I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
