We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
