I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
