all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
