hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
