i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
is that a dick in a sweater?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
