My hand turned me down
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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