Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
These tits shall not be calmed
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize