We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
