he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Well I just put wine in my tea
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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