Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
