Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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